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More About This Title Unofficial Guide to Getting a Divorce, Second Edition
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Sad. Mad. Scared. Stressed. Distraught. Distracted. Overwhelmed. Divorce dredges up so many emotions and entails so many financial and legal issues, it's difficult to stay rational and keep your life on track. This savvy, updated guide empowers you to take constructive steps toward a better future. It leads you through preparing for divorce, the process, legal issues, coping, sticky situations, and post-divorce financial and health-care issues. It tells you things attorneys and other advisors may not, and gives unbiased recommendations for negotiating the tricky issues of divorce while keeping your sanity.
* Vital Information to help you protect your interests in a divorce or in dealings with your future ex, attorneys, financial advisors, and more.
* Insider Secrets for moving from "I do" to "I don't" with harmony, intelligence, and grace.
* Money-Saving Techniques to reduce legal fees and court costs.
* Time-Saving Tips to help you resolve your divorce without going to court.
* The Scoop on the Latest Trends and precedents in spousal and child support, pre-nups, and more to help you set realistic expectations.
* Handy Checklists to help you do everything from setting priorities to telling the children to dividing property
English
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About the Authors xi
Introduction xiii
What’s in This Book? xiv
How This Book Is Different xvi
How to Use This Book xvii
How to Be a Savvy Consumer xviii
How to Keep Your Sanity During the Process xx
Special Features xxi
I Smart Preparation for Divorce 1
1 Is This Really the End of the Marriage? 3
Deciding to decide 4
There are options to divorce 5
Marital counseling 5
Separation 11
Is this the end? 16
Changing your mind 19
Looking ahead 21
Just the facts 21
2 Setting Up a Successful Divorce: The First Steps 23
You have to start somewhere 24
Breaking the news 27
The elements of a successful divorce 41
Just the facts 45
3 Making the Best of It 47
You may not need a lawyer 48
Checklist for an amicable divorce 52
Professional assistance other than lawyers 55
What are your ultimate goals? 56
Just the facts 57
II When War Seems Imminent 59
4 Before You See an Attorney 61
What’s a lawyer for? 62
Safety first 63
The importance of keeping records 66
Cover your assets 69
Stopping short of court 75
Just the facts 81
5 Choosing Your Lawyer 83
What does the lawyer do? 84
How to recognize a top-notch attorney 87
How to work with your lawyer 92
How much will I pay? 94
Interviewing prospective counsel 106
Moving on 108
Just the facts 108
III Welcome to the U.S. Court System 111
6 Filing for Divorce 113
The paper trail.113
Does it matter who files first? 114
Grounds for divorce 117
“Service” and other legal particulars 122
How long will it take? 135
Privacy issues 137
Just the facts 138
7 The Discovery Process 139
The need for basic information 140
Interrogatories 144
Depositions 149
Hand it over: document productions and subpoenas 152
Getting an expert’s opinion 154
The discovery schedule 156
Just the facts 158
8 The Final Steps Toward Resolution 159
Moving forward 159
Going to trial 167
Susan’s tips for a successful day in court 172
Settling out of court 175
The power of your final resolution 177
Changing times 179
It isn’t quite over yet 180
Just the facts 181
IV Big Issues You Can’t Escape 183
9 Family Values 185
Custody and visitation 186
Economic interests 191
Determining the value of assets 200
Dividing liabilities 206
Just the facts 207
10 The Children’s Hour 209
Custody arrangements 209
Custody complexities 216
Child support 221
Just the facts 230
11 What Will I Live On? 231
What is alimony? 231
Taxes and other considerations 241
Looking toward a new day 245
Just the facts 246
V The Aftermath: Coping Well 247
12 Surviving the Ordeal 249
Change and continuity 250
Recognizing and handling stress 259
Managing your career 261
Happy holidays? 263
Just the facts 264
13 We All Need Help Sometimes 265
Dealing with your emotions 265
Accepting emotional support 274
Staying functional 278
Just the facts 280
VI Surviving Sticky Situations 281
14 Spouse and Family Discord 283
Conflict resolution 283
Domestic violence and abuse 285
Stalking 289
Extended-family discord 292
Just the facts 296
15 Special Circumstances 299
Divorcing your business partner 299
Long-distance support battles 301
Prenuptial agreements 305
Dissension in the ranks: problems with your attorney 308
Just the facts 316
16 Considerations Beyond the Horizon 317
And what of the in-laws? 317
New relationships, perhaps remarriage 319
The stepfamily 320
Be there for very special events 322
On death and dying 324
Just the facts 328
Part VII Post-Divorce Money and Health Issues 329
17 Mastering Your Finances 331
Transferring assets 332
You are now a single taxpayer 334
Investments made easy (sort of) 336
How much insurance do you need? 338
A word on wills 341
Just the facts 344
18 Who’ll Pay the Doctor Bills? 345
Understanding COBRA 346
What about the kids? 347
Shopping for health insurance 348
Miscellaneous and sundry ways to save money on health bills 349
Just the facts 351
A Glossary 353
B Resource Guide 359
Divorce attorneys 359
Mediation specialists 359
General information about divorce laws 360
Custody issues 360
Child support issues 361
Financial planners 361
Financial advice for beginners 362
Financial advice for the more experienced investor 362
Miscellaneous 362
The authors 363
C Recommended Reading List 365
Bankruptcy 365
Children 365
Custody 365
Economizing 365
Investing (for beginners) 366
Investing (for beyond beginners) 366
Money management 366
Settlement negotiations 367
Taxes 367
D Important Checklists 369
Preparing to see your attorney 369
Discovery documents 372
Legal checklist 375
Financial assistance checklist.376
Counseling checklist 378
Documents checklist 378
E Assembling Your Divorce Team 381
Questions to ask your attorney 381
Questions to ask your therapist 385
Russell’s suggestions for hiring a financial planner/money manager 386
Index 389
