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  • A Healing, Compassionate & Survival kit for Hearts Broken On the Road to Marriage
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    Paperback / softback
  • No. of Page:
    100
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  • moses kibe kihiko
    Kenya
moses kibe kihiko

Offered By moses kibe kihiko

Moses Kibe Kihiko has studied certificate and a postgraduate Master’s degree in Leadership Studies. He has participated in a number of international competitions touching on leadership, human rights as well as trade and globalization. He entered his article entitled “The Key Challenges Facing Leader...

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  • About the Book
  • Original Language

Young men and women more often than not build on the sand in what they look for in a relationship. They set unrealistic standards of beauty, finances and of education. But one may ask, whom among the young men and young women break hearts more than the other? The argument being that if it is it is gents who initiated the engagement, he is more to blame for terminating it if he does not have a concrete reason for doing so. It is wrong to start a fire that you will leave burning aimlessly. Before a gent approached the lady for a hand, she was leading her life without any disturbances. When that gentleman came into her life, he made her change the course of her life. He lit the spark of love in her and she responded with a flame. She channeled her love to him with all that goes with it. Once such a love is stirred, it is very difficult to contain such a love again. It is like lighting a bushfire. Henceforth, such a love cannot be contained, sometimes uncontrollable. A decent gent should not to awaken love in a young lady or ladies when he is not ready to lead it to a good and a logical end of marriage. But note, the engagement termination has been coming from both sides of the divide.
In a very sensitive way, the author investigates what it broken engagement really means. This is because many people fail to understand what they do when they break an engagement. Some don’t even realize the harm they have done to the other. However, broken relationship has the following effects.
1. Longevity-the longer the engagement, the longer the hurt
2. Investment-the greater the investment, the deeper the hurt
3. Seriousness- the deeper the seriousness, the deeper the hurt
4. Trust- the greater the trust, the deeper the hurt
5. Value- the higher the value, the deeper the hurt

The author looks at what should be the basis of broken engagement. Is there valid reason or reasons or basis of terminating a relationship? The following are the basis found to be the basis of this, that is, on the basis of cheating on the other, the basis of irreconcilable differences, bad character traits and that of mutual parting.

The very emotive issue of the palace coup, that is, when your best friend runs with your partner is investigated and, with varying degrees, relationships are broken by two types of people: Strangers and familiar. Strangers vary between complete strangers to someone remotely known to the aggrieved partner. But there are general and intimate friends too. The greatest question the jilted lover asks is, why did it happen to me?
But what if it is true, true the partner switches his or her heart from you to your friend over something that is validly true, that you were to blame, that you contributed the switch? What if your partner was objective enough, not subjective in his or her preferring your friend over you? If such a thing happens, and it does happen often, it is good for such to take time to see what it is that made such a thing to happen. This is the time to pose and objectively look at oneself, to learn from the situation. If one discovers that the things that made the partner switch to his or her friend could be rectified, or at least modified, such a partner need to take time to do exactly that. You are supposed to avoid self blame and trigger and trigger memories,
But what can one do before calling it over or before terminating the relationship? The author recommends talking to one another, to the best friend(s), to the best couple or counselor, religious leader as well as taking time to break. And, are there things one ought not to do in the situation? With an array of emotions like anger, bitterness, hatred, jealousy among others, those victims of broken engagement may result to doing something radically harmful to themselves or others. And so, one should avoid wooing your partner back, rushing into another relationship, rushing into conclusions of never marrying, revenge, withdrawing from life as well as doing anything silly.
How should one react in the event of a broken engagement? One should take time to grieve, to reflect, to recollect, forgive, and heal, to resolve as well as to live.
Is there a scenario where a partner can come knocking back and claiming that he or she was sorry and is desirous to be let in the relationship once more? This is well illustrated by a Miss Sweedy who was middle level manager earning good money, but not as much as her fiancé, Mr.Manday who was a CEO in a local company. So, one day Mr.Manday left her heartbroken and bleeding only to come back later asking to be let in. What can Miss Sweedy do? Miss Sweedy must get many questions right before making her decision on whether or not to let Mr Manday into her life and relationship once again. For example, she must know what, one, happened with the relationship of the new lover, two, what has changed of the new partner and what had changed of him or her as well as what had changed of you as his or her former partner. Again, she must know what changed of timing. Miss Sweedy must know how different is the partner, Mr manday from the time he walked away to now. Sweedy must still decide to go further. Now that Mr. Manday has come back, and wants a reunion, she must ask herself whether it is worth her effort. Does she take him or wait for a fresh love someday down the line? She must determine the price of this renewed relationship and see whether it will be too costly for her and how much energy is needed on her side to enter in this relationship once again. Again, she must settle in her mind and heart whether she still loves him and whether she is willing to jump start the relationship?
The author concludes by what goes around comes around, meaning that breakages of engagement do affect the future of marriage. Those whose heart was broken without a course may be plagued by insecurity, fear of divorce, carry a shadow while those that broke their partner’s hearts may lack commitment and so on.