Healing Relationships is an Inside Job

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More About This Title Healing Relationships is an Inside Job


Changing the dynamics of unsatisfying relationships seems to be an elusive goal at best, but through this comprehensive view of the human psyche, readers will gain knowledge on how to separate their ego and true self and fundamentally restructure their relationships for the better. The ego often promotes the notion that identity stems from opinions, possessions, and other elements outside of the true self—an entity which lives in the present and is free from outward concerns and issues. Through eight chapters and complementary exercises, readers will learn to recognize, respect, and manage the manifestations of the ego in everyday interactions and arguments, thus stopping the ego from destroying the love that the true self is seeking. The final chapter of this helpful book suggests changes to the structure of relationships, with guidelines for resolving disagreements and making calmer choices in times of stress.


Arlene Harder, MFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She has cofounded two nonprofit cancer-support organizations and is the creator of four websites, including www.support4change.com and www.childhoodaffirmations.com. She is the author of Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life and Letting Go of Our Adult Children. She lives in Altadena, California.


"This book offers comprehensive steps to help you understand yourself, deal with your emotions, forgive yourself and others, and resolve difficult relationship challenges." —Marci Shimoff, NY Times-bestselling author, Happy for No Reason and Love for No Reason

"Arlene Harder uses her personal experience, wrapped in her expertise as a therapist, to show readers how relationships which had seemed to be dead-ends can actually be transformed." —Shannon White, author, How Was School Today? Fine

"Harder masterfully guides us in understanding how our brains create stories… By the end of the book we have a new story that releases us from pain and misunderstanding." —Sandra Dye, psychotherapist, Parent Training, One Step Ahead Parenting

"You cannot change others; you only can change yourself. Personal change is hard work, but this book motivates and reassures . . . as it leads [you] through the process." —Kent Van Cleave Jr., PhD, online instructor, American Intercontinental University

"Relationships are central to health and quality of life. Harder shows us simple (not easy but simple) ways to transform even severely damaged relationships." —David Spero, RN, author, The Art of Getting Well and Diabetes: Sugar-coated Crisis

"With warmth and compassion, [Harder] gently guides readers along a path to healing that will yield invaluable results, and I am recommending the book to all my clients." —Mark Sichel, LCSW, author, Healing from Family Rifts