Some people read stories because they offer an escapism that cannot be found elsewhere. Some people read stories because there's been a power cut. You should read this story because it is very important. It is the story of Stephen Moore. It is also the story of a bench and a fire called Malcolm. Above all, it is the story of the birth of that great religion called Mooranity.

Ardie Collins is sometimes hungry and rarely late. He has spent half of his life inhaling and near enough the other half exhaling. He can almost speak one language which is only partly contributable to the fact that he is in the middle of making one up. In between these other commitments he has managed to write a small book. It's this one, by the way.